Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Unfortunately (or not), I now hate three of the players featured.

Top five moments from Homer at the Bat:
5. "I still like him better than Steinbrenner."
4. Mr. Burns's original desired lineup included a player that has been dead for 130 years.
3. Lenny's imagination of Homer with a laser that incinerates his opponents.
2. "Lord Palmerston!" "Pitt the Elder!"
1. The closing credits song.

I am prepared to defend all of these.

I should note that I compiled this list after my original intention of a sabermetric analysis of the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant softball team fell through due to lack of data. The only thing I could say for certain was that because every at bat shown/known for Homer and Daryl is a homerun (one HBP for Homer) Daryl's VORP is technically 0.0.


  1. 5. I actually prefer "Mr. Burns, I don't know what you think sideburns are..." from this very same conversation.

    As for Strawberry vs. Homer, I believe the statistic you're using is actually VOHS.

  2. Also: list several reasons why your hatred is ironic.

  3. A fair point and the title is now amended.

    Regarding VORP, I think it qualifies as literal VORP, as in his literal value over his replacement.

  4. Good call on VORP, and thanks for humoring me with regards to the post title (all I could think of was Bender's irony policing vs. the Robot Devil).

    I do love this post, by the by.

  5. Quick question: who is the third player on your hate list? Since I've heard you express your dislike for Clemens and Canseco, those two are obvious, but I don't think I've heard you knock any of the other ringers.

  6. Mike Scioscia


  7. But...but...winning atmosphere!


  8. I just rewatched this episode with the pause button handy to bring you Mr. Burns's original lineup:

    P: Mordecai "Three-Finger" Brown
    C: Gabby Street
    1B: Cap Anson
    2B: Nap Lajoie
    3B: Pie Traynor
    SS: Honus Wagner
    LF: "Shoeless" Joe Jackson
    CF: Harry Hooper
    RF: Jim Creighton

    A few oddities: Harry Hooper was primarily a right fielder, and Jim Creighton was best known as a pitcher, is widely credited with having invented the fastball, and died due to internal injuries suffered due to swinging too hard in his (obviously) final plate appearance, in which he hit a home run.


    Seems Mr. Burns might have been better off dropping Creighton, shifting Zombie Hooper to right, and adding Zombie Ty Cobb to play center field and fight groundskeepers and their wives.

  9. Amazing, amazing, amazing moment from this episode's DVD commentary:

    "The closest I ever came to falling in love with a man was Steve Sax."

    Also, for what it's worth, I don't hate you, Mike Scioscia.