This Person Exists

From MLB.com: "Farnsworth said he owned two American bulldogs, one about 80 pounds and the other about 90 pounds. They're named Strike and Rambo."

Stone. Strike. Rambo. Wow.

I Shin-Soo Choo Choo Choose You

That's right, I went there.

Just when non-Zach-Greinke things couldn't get any worse for the Royals...well, you know the rest of that cliché. Shin-Soo Choo won the game for the Indians on Thursday with a walk off single against Royals reliever Kyle "Professor" Farnsworth—and off a particularly well- (or, depending on your perspective, poorly-) placed seagull.

The ridiculous end to Thursday's game prompted a particularly entertaining post from Joe Posnanski (I'm reminded of the mostly-wonderful Royals by Mail).

Choo's seagull shot also puts him in second place on my all-time gullball list, which now reads as follows:

1.) Randy Johnson
2.) Shin-Soo Choo
3.) Randy Johnson
4.) Randy Johnson
5.) Randy Johnson
6.) Randy Johnson
7.) Randy Johnson
8.) Randy Johnson
9.) Randy Johnson
10.) Randy Johnson

Jose vs. Hong Man Choi

Jose Canseco, who, despite losing his only "professional" bout (to Vai Sikahema in a celebrity boxing match), still seems to fancy himself a fighter, will fight 7'2" South Korean Hong Man Choi on May 26th in Tokyo. Mark McGwire, Sammy Sosa, and Rafael Palmeiro will be sitting together ringside to watch the carnage.

Speaking of 7'2" fighters, Shaquille O'Neal (all 325 pounds of him) may be eyeing a mixed martial arts career after he retires from basketball. If O'Neal has any skill as a fighter, he will instantly become the most terrifying human being on the planet. If he does not have any skill as a fighter, he should go the circus route by dusting off an old costume...

Other likely future fighters from the baseball world (MMALB?) include Izzy Alcantara, Mo Vaughn, Michael Barrett, and of course, Kyle "Professor" Farnsworth. Robin Ventura need not apply.