Heynowyoureanallstargoplayheynowyoureanallstargetpaidandallthatglittersisgold

The All-Star Rosters were announced and we here at NL Central Stage have no real complaints about players being left off. The NL Central got appropriate representation and the only snubs that come to mind are starting pitchers and the general rule seems to be not to mess too much with them so that rotations aren't ruined. Mike Cameron has an argument based on his glove vs. Brad Hawpe's bat but I could argue either way so I'm not up in arms about it.

Miguel Tejada squeezed in just by his bat. By my count he is fourth among NL shortstops in WAR (trailing Ramirez, Escobar, and Tulowitzki). He is second in terms of offensive output but his FRAA of -8 is terrible. H-Ram is destroying him on both sides of the ball.

The game is in St. Louis so we get to showcase some Midwest flavor, being mostly fat people and the food that made them that way. Pujols and Fielder get to have fun in the prior-to-the-fake-game-fake competition of the Home Run Derby. I'm picking Adrian Gonzalez for the win for no reason whatsoever because it is a silly competition for which no amount of information or data could lend any credible foresight. If nothing else the Home Run Derby stresses this: first base is an offense first position.

Pujols: "1-run Sac Flies are for Little Girly Men"

Despite a great catch by the Rockies' Carlos Gonzalez, Albert Pujols managed to drive in two runs on one sacrifice fly this afternoon in St. Louis. Pujols is hitting .333/.455/.682 for an OPS+ of 197 (!) so far on the season, and remains on pace for 50+ homers, 35+ doubles, 130+ walks (against less than 60 SO), ~180 hits, ~130 runs, ~150 RBIs, nearly 400 TB, and—perhaps most astonishing of all—20 stolen bases.

Those readers (do we even have readers?) who remember my Pujols post from April 28th will note that he remains on pretty much the same comically absurd pace six weeks further into the season.

Tune in next week when Pujols will hit a home run while playing defense.

Big Numbers

Randy Johnson won his 300th game tonight against the Washington Nationals (in his first try at #300, no less). I'd throw together a celebratory graph, but the fine folks at Beyond the Boxscore already have.

One thing's for certain. Nobody, ever, under any circumstances, will ever win 300 games ever again. Ever.

EDIT: How did I overlook the opportunity to post a video of the greatest pitch ever thrown?

Oh God.

It's happening again.

Marlins 4 Mets 3

J. Santana
7.0 IP 5 H 2R 3BB 7K
ND

I thought this was the year they fixed this problem. Look for Johan Santana to finish the year with a 13-7 record, a 1.05 WHIP, and 9.5 K/9. He will finish 8th in Cy Young voting.

Albert Pujols is Good at Baseball

Just to put Pujols' lightning-fast start into perspective, he is currently on pace to score 162 runs, drive in 203, and collect 194 H, 32 2B, 57 HR, 397 TB, and 130 BB against only 49 SO. Hell, he's even stolen 3 bases in the last week and is on pace for 24 assuming he doesn't remember that he's Albert Pujols.

But the craziest thing about Pujols' start is that it's not even all that crazy. Sure, there's no way he'll keep scoring/driving in runs at his current rate, and Albert has never hit 50 HRs in a season (which, importantly, is not the same thing as saying that he is incapable of hitting 50+), but Pujols' .333/.457/.681 line is very similar to his monstrous 2008 numbers (.357/.462/.653).

At this point, if I were a responsible statgeek, I'd start delving into historical BABIP, GB/LD/FB rates, and such. But I'm not a responsible statgeek. I'm a statgeek who figured out that Pujols' season numbers to date, when multiplied by 8.1 (to "project" those numbers out to 162 games), are hilarious.

Swindle's Odyssey

With David Riske joining Trevor Hoffman on the DL, the Brewers have called up R.J. Swindle to baffle big league hitters for a week or so before Hoffman is activated and the Brew Crew foolishly options Swindle back to Nashville. Unless, of course, Swindle pitches six scoreless innings during his first week in the big leagues while maintaining a 12K/9 ratio and stealing the souls of his vanquished opponents à la Shang Tsung. Which he will.

You Read It Here First...

Matt Stairs will hit a walk-off home run to win game 7 of the World Series. During the postgame interview, a triumphant, champaign-doused Stairs will thank his Phillies teammates for adding courtesy reach-arounds to their celebratory ass-hammerings.