St. Louis Cardinals PWMBA: Richard Ankiel

The story of Rick Ankiel was a great one before the HGH thing and now it's just another tale of MLB corruption and greed in a world with no law. The streets run cold and the moon whispers secrets told in dark alleys and private rooms. Rick Ankiel did not ask to protect this city but he must have his revenge. Catch all the action in the new thriller/porno "Skin City."

Rick Ankiel's journey from unpredictable pitcher to power outfielder is an interesting one but it has been told many times and is not the purpose of this post. His numbers since becoming an outfielder are and here we go.

Rick's numbers so far have been very good. A good showing in 2007 (.285/.328/.535 in only 47 games) got him a slot in 2008 where he posted a .264/.337/.506 line, good for an EqA of .287. He has been solid but not outstanding in center field with a rate of 92 in 2008. Ankiel appears to be a good player who will continue to produce for years to come.

The concern, however, seems to lie in his ability to take walks and be selective. Ankiel took 3.83 pitches per plate appearance in 2008, tying him with teammate Albert Pujols. Ankiel walked 9.2% of the time while Pujols walked 16.6% of the time. Ankiel should learn to be more selective at the plate.

Is it unreasonable to compare Ankiel to Pujols? Of course. Pitchers are much less likely to throw hittable pitches to Pujols than Ankiel so Pujols should walk more. 3.83 P/PA is also similar to Ryan Ludwick (3.84) and Paul Konerko (3.82), two hitters I would consider to be more comprable to Ankiel. Ludwick drew a walk 10.3% of the time and Konerko 12.9%. I think it would be reasonable to hope for Ankiel to raise his BB% a little and be more selective but it is not dangerously low.

Ankiel should remain a solid fielder with good power. Most projections predict him to post about a .260/.320/.490. Those are solid numbers but certainly not elite. The reason I included Ankiel as part of this series is because I think this season will be very telling for his future. He has now had a full season to adjust to his position and needs to start developing if he will continue to find success at the major league level. If he can get on base at a higher rate while keeping his power numbers strong, then I believe he will flourish. If not, then I think he will find that as he ages and his power numbers drop his inability to get on base at a greater rate will start to be a greater problem. I would set the bar at a 10% walk rate and a .500 SLG. If Ankiel can meet those numbers that I would say he has a good chance of continued performance above a major league level. If not, he may want to turn himself into a gold glove shortstop or find a different career. Perhaps the film industry would suit him.

Big Dick Ankiel

Just prior to the season beginning, on the morning sports-talk radio show I listen to daily, there was much discussion about Rick Ankiel desperately wanting to now be referred to as "Dick" as opposed to Rick. This was enough to make me chuckle. I mean, first off, why? Let's forget the juvenile sexual connotation for a moment and dwell on the fact that since he first came to the big leagues at 20 years old, he's been known as Rick.

I mean, if I randomly started referring to myself and asking those around me to refer to me as "Stevie" from here on out, I'm sure that'd be met with some odd responses. I decided when I was 9 that I was no longer Stephen, I was Steve. I made my bed and I have lain in it. Stevie Wonder was "Little Stevie Wonder" and now he's a 60 year old man who has to go by a little kid's name. Them's the breaks.

But Rick's not that bad of a name, is it? Certainly the best derivative of Richard. Better than Rich, better than Ricky. And definitely better than Dick. Who actually WANTS to be called Dick?

I'll tell you who. A porno star.

A week or so ago Dick Ankiel shaved off his beard and left himself with a primo pornstar mustache. Solid and true. I'm actually a little jealous of it.

Perhaps he wants to start a new trend? Perhaps to get him out of his early season slump? But perhaps, and most likely, in my opinion, it's to set in motion his one true dream - that of porn stardom. Pining to be referred to as sexual slang combined with that awesome piece of facial hair can only lead to that conclusion. He didn't know how to get his foot in the door of the porn industry, and so he became a fearsome young pitcher - his second love, only to that of pussy. When that failed, he set out to become a feared hitter. And now that that is trickling away, and he is a household name, he sees that his time has come (pun intended).

So here's to the current Cardinal centerfielder and a future porn legend. Let's all raise a glass and a salute to Big Dick Ankiel.